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Samanthi Hewage, Field Officer with the Twins and our contact with Kudawella school, recently married her groom in a Buddhist wedding ceremony in Sri Lanka. Sue Burman, teaching assistant at Gorseland school, recently married her groom in a Christian wedding ceremony in England. Whilst wishing them both the very best in their new lives, we thought it would be a fantastic opportunity for the children to compare the similarities and difference between the two ceremonies and customs. Samanthi and Sue kindly helped by providing photos and information for the children to use. The children spent time researching about weddings and here's what they found out. And click on the PowerPoint Presentation to find out more...

Gorseland Primary School

Kudawella School, Nakulugamuwa

Christians believe that marriage is gifts from God.

These are the Christians wedding vows:

To have and to hold from this day forward,

for better for worse,

for richer and poorer,

in sickness and in health,

to love and to cherish,

till death us to part.

They have been recited at UK weddings since 1552. The vicar always says a certain speech at weddings. After the Stag night and the Hen night the groom is not allowed to see the Brides wedding dress. At a wedding the Bride may receive horseshoes from guests as a gift for good luck.

There is the Bridal party who all has certain positions at the wedding, here is the list; there is the Bride and Groom of course the Best men, the Pageboys, the Usher, the Brides Maid and the Flower girl.

Traditionally, the bride and groom enter the church separately - the groom first with the best man, and the bride at the time set for the start of the service, on the arm of her father or another relative or friend (it does not need to be a man). However, the bride may enter alone if she wishes, or the couple may enter together.

The minister will welcome the congregation. Your family and friends have an important role to play as witnesses and supporters of your marriage. The minister will read an introduction explaining what Christians believe about marriage. He or she will also ask, as the law requires, if anyone knows any reason why the marriage may not lawfully take place.

Churches sometimes offer marriage preparation, perhaps as part of a group with other couples. This gives you an opportunity to think through possible areas of difficulty and how you will handle them as a couple.

The children in Year 5 spent time researching weddings and put together PowerPoint presentations for you to view.

Click on the links (like the ones below) to see what they found.

A Christian Wedding is different to other religious weddings. They are in different places like a church or Registry office. This is a plan of the typical Christian wedding.

1) The Groom and best man arrive followed by all the other guests.

2) Bride arrives, traditionally a little late.

3) The ceremony will start.

4) The couple exchange rings and are now married!

5) Now they will have to sign a form to show they are legally married.

6) Next they drive to there chosen reception. It could be a hotel, pub, anything they want.

7) Now the couple will have there first dance together!

8) Everyone is hungry so it’s time to eat!

9) After the big day everyone is really tired so its time to go home after the big day.

Wedding Reception

The wedding Reception will properly be the most expensive on your budget list.

Plans for the wedding reception should be initiated as soon as the wedding date is set. Advanced notice of 3 months is usual for many venues although longer may be necessary for popular venues or at busy times of the year.

The reception should be held near to location of wedding ceremony if a possible as this simplifies the transport arrangements. Ask friends and acquaintances for recommendations when choosing a reception venue. It is essential to visit the venue before making a booking. Relying on telephone enquiries and pictures in brochures is not adequate preparation when making such an important decision.

When you have drawn up a short-list it is a good idea to visit the hotels or restaurants for a meal before making enquiries. This will give some idea as to their standards of food, service and the general atmosphere of the venue.

Community Halls

In most localities there is a church, school or local authority hall available for hire. Also, many pubs have private function rooms available for hire. It is usual to book halls 4 to 6 months in advance. For a small number of guests the catering may be done by family and friends although it is more convenient to have outside caterers for a larger gathering. The suitability of halls for wedding receptions and the facilities they offer vary enormously so it is essential see the hall and its surroundings and discuss what facilities they offer in detail before booking.

Marquees

Hiring a marquee is an option if a large enough garden is available. Marquees come in varying sizes to accommodate most wedding parties. It allows the reception to be held at home when the house is not large enough. Flooring, dance floors, linings and lighting can also be hired and in the winter heating may also be necessary. A marquee is not an inexpensive option however. The hire of the marquee together with the cost of caterers and other fixtures will leave a bill in the same price range as holding the reception in an hotel.

Most marquee hire companies provide a brochure to allow you to choose the marquee and other items such as flooring, matting, lighting etc. Choose a firm who are prepared to visit the site before accepting an order. This ensures that they will be aware of any possible problems the site may present. Also, ensure that they are prepared to be called out if any problems occur on the day of the wedding. Marquees are usually erected two or three days before the wedding day.

At home

A sit-down meal is possible if the party is very small. However, the most practical option is to have a buffet. This not only adds to the informal atmosphere but also requires less equipment such as crockery and cutlery and people can serve themselves.

Kesgrave All Saints: imaginative and articulate, the extension to the south

Places of marriage

There are lot’s of places of worship but the main is a church, as I said there are lots of other places worship, like the mosques and temples.

A Sri Lankan Buddhist Wedding

Accordingly, the Sri Lankan weddings can be identified by the four main religions:

1. Buddhist wedding

2. Hindu wedding

3. Church wedding

4. Muslim Wedding

Sri Lankan Buddhist Weddings are influenced by the Hindu culture which gives prominence to ‘Nekath’, the auspicious times. The ‘Nekatha' is derived from the horoscopes of the Bride and the Groom which is created based on their dates and times of birth. Of the many traditional events that take place during a Buddhist wedding, the ‘Poruwa’ ceremony is the most important. Therefore it is strictly guided by Nekath.

'Poruwa’ is a beautifully decorated wooden platform on which the traditional Buddhist marriage ceremony takes place. Therefore this event is called the ‘Poruwa Siritha' (Ceremony).

The Things use for decorating the Poruws

The Poruwa Siritha (Poruwa Ceremony) appears to have existed in Sri Lanka before the introduction of Buddhism in the 3rd Century B.C.

Through the ages, many innovations have been introduced to the Poruwa Siritha. By and large, the men and women of present day society realize the value of their heritage and are motivated to protect and preserve something of their past for posterity.

Departure of the Groom and Bride from their respective homes to attend the ceremony. The Bride and Groom leave their families homes according to the auspicious time and come to the wedding hall for the ceremony. The Bridegroom and his relations come to the wedding hall (or Brides home if the ceremony is to take place there) before the auspicious time for the Poruwa ceremony. Before the Bridegroom and his relations enter the wedding hall the Best Man enters first to give the bouquet to the bride and her bridesmaids. After that all the grooms friends and family enter the hall. The Brides friends and family are already there.

Poruwa.

The bridegroom and party assemble on the left of the Poruwa and the bridal party on the right. Then the bride and groom enter the Poruwa leading with the right foot. They greet each other with palms held together in the traditional manner.

The bride and groom enter the Poruwa leading with the right foot according at the auspicious time. The Wedding drum is playing at that time. Fathers of the bride and groom are led to the Poruwa by their son and daughter.

Shilpadhipathi (master of ceremonies) presents a hand of betel leaves to the couple; they are accepted and handed back to him to be placed on a high shelf. This symbolizes the offering of betel to gods. The bride's father places the right hand of the bride on that of the groom as a symbolic gesture of handing over the bride to the bridegroom.

The groom's brother (or best man) hands a tray to the groom with seven sheaves of betel leaves with a coin placed in each. The groom holds the tray while the bride takes one sheaf at a time and drops it on the Poruwa. The groom repeats this process. This is a custom carried out to remember seven generations of relatives on each side.

The groom's brother hands a chain to the groom who in turn places it on the bride's neck. This symbolizes that the groom will from now on provide for his bride.

The bride's maternal uncle enters the Poruwa, ties the small fingers of the bride and groom with a gold thread (The little fingers of the bride and groom are tied with golden thread to symbolize bond and unity) and then water is poured over the fingers. Water and earth being the eternal verities, the water so poured and the earth on which it falls are intended to be the lasting witnesses to the marriage.

The uncle then turns the couple clockwise, three times, on the Poruwa.

On the Poruwa, the priest will perform a blessing ceremony with the exchange of rings and vows. Six girls will then bless the marriage with a beautiful “Jayamangala Gatha” chant.

To begin the Poruwa ceremony, the Jayamangala Gatha, or Stanzas of Victory are recited to invoke blessings on the couple for success and prosperity in life

Next the groom presents to his bride a white cloth which in turn is presented to the bride's mother. This is an expression of the groom's gratitude to his mother-in-law for bringing up his bride.

Next, the groom's mother will present the going away sari to the groom. The groom hands it over to the bride and she in turn gives it to her mother.

Drummers are now playing the Magul Bera drums. The Magul Bera drums have traditional significance in Sri Lankan culture as they mark special occasions and celebrations

As the newly weds step down from the Poruwa, helped by a couple from the bridegroom's party, Shilpathipathi (master of ceremonies) breaks a coconut in two.

Legal Formalities

The couple will then be lead to the registrar, who will carry out the legal formalities. After the formalities of registration and paperwork are done, the couple will then proceed towards the traditional oil lamp.

Lighting the Oil Lamp

The priest will assist the couple to light the traditional oil lamp, which will be decorated with flowers.

The couple will be given a candle to light the wicks on the oil lamp.

An oil lamp is lit to signify their resolve to keep the home fires burning and for a bright future

The new couple commences their wedded life by lighting the traditional oil lamp decorated to suit the occasion.

They will then be led to a decorated table with the wedding cake and the cake will be cut.

Toast & Wedding Cake

They will then go to the traditional “couch” in a decorated area to share a toast and wedding cake. A great importance is given to the display of flowers behind the couch back. Together with the Newly-weds the settee back becomes the center of attention during the wedding reception.

Welcome drink and Lunch

Before the lunch everyone receives a welcome soft cool drink. During the day all the guests are enjoying listening to music and are having drinks. By 12p.m to 1p.m all the guest are invited for the lunch which has been prepared by caterers. In Sri Lanka we have a special meal of rice and curries at the wedding. Nearly fifteen meals are prepared for the wedding day with delicious desserts.

The Wedding Audience

In the later afternoon, the wedding audience is held for relatives of both bride and groom. The main reason for holding the Wedding audience is to give advice to bride and groom on how to spend their married life without any problems and also to give thanks to all the participants. The bride and groom’s relations make a few speeches at this time.

The wedding couple leave.

After finishing the ceremony then comes the time to leave the wedding hall. There is an auspicious time for that. Then all the relations and friends give their best wishes before leaving them.

The newly wedded couple worships the parents and other elders to get their blessing before leave. They do this by kneeling at their feet with head towards the ground and touching the feet. When the auspicious time comes, the couple leave the home or wedding hall.

In our tradition the bride’s mother comes forward with a glass of water and puts white flowers into the glass of water to bless the leaving couple. The couple drink the water.

The places for the wedding.

1. Reception hall

2. Bride’s home

3. Temple or Church

The way of dressing the bride

There are three popular ways of dressing the bride

1. Indian style with Vail

2. Kandian style Sri Lankan traditional wedding dress

3.Western style